Hello
by Bunnyhop12
Summary: Elsie left Charles after a devastating betrayal. Now, six years later, she's back with shocking news, and a burden Charles isn't sure he can swallow. Based on the song by Adele. MODERN AU.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! I know I haven't updated Fateful Love for a while, but it's going to have to wait a little longer. I got inspiration from Adele's song Hello. I hope you all like it. Hasn't been beta'd. Rated for language.**

June 12, 2016

London, England

9:03 a.m.

The ring of the phone distracts her for only a moment before her mind shifts back to the mission at hand. She had to call him, had to speak to him, and it had to happen today. She had put calling her estranged husband off for as long as she could. Now, it was literally life or death for her. Her thoughts were interrupted by the familiar deep voice on the other end.

"Hello, Charles Carson. Who am I speaking with?"

"Hi, Charles, it's me. It's Elsie," _of course he knows who you are. You were, are, have been married for twelve years. Shit! I might throw up._

 _Oh my God! Oh my God! Come on, man. Get a grip, and do NOT stutter,_ "El-Elsie, h-h-hi. What can I do for you?" _Damn it._

"I was wondering if w-we could, uh, meet sometime today, or this week?" _God you sound desperate. Well, you are so get over it._

' _You want to meet after everything that happened,'_ he almost asked. Luckily he caught himself and answered with, "Sure. Today's fine. Where and what time?"

Elsie's eyes widened. _He said yes. Oh no! Where and what time, Elsie?_ "How about Little Red's for lunch?"

"Perfect. Goodbye, Elsie." _You have to change before you go._

"Bye, Charles." _You have three hours to get ready and even that might not be enough time._

He can't believe his wife, his Elsie, asked HIM to meet. He always thought it would be the other way around. It would have been if he had known she was back in London. He always thought she had gone back to Scotland and stayed after what he did. He didn't blame her for leaving, but he would have liked an apology for not even trying to save their marriage.

 _Okay, now all you have to do is not bring any of it up. Don't bring up Alice or the affair or even the miscarriages. Nothing, you let her bring it up. You've screwed up enough as is. Now, shower time. Maybe, even wear the cologne she likes so much, and that red shirt. NO! You do not get your hopes up. You remember that awful, awful day in August. You're the reason she left._

August 18, 2010

Chiswick, West London, England

"Elsie, it was a huge mistake. I didn't mean it. I swear it happened on accident. Please, please don't leave," Charles begged, his eyes glassed over with unshed tears.

"When were you going to tell me? Or were you going to tell me at all?" Elsie asked. She was livid, absolutely livid. Five months after their most brutal miscarriage he tells her that his secretary was pregnant, and it's his.

"Of course I was going to tell you. I would never lie t-," SLAP! Charles stumbled backwards and fell against the wardrobe on the east side of the room. Grabbing his face he felt blood. Not only did Elsie hit him, but clawed him as well.

"Don't you dare," her accent thickening with rage, "don't you dare say you would never lie to me. Ever! When that is what you have been doing so the last few months. Now," her voice low and almost sinisterly calm, "when did you start sleep with her?"

He knew this would be the breaking point for her, "Seven months ago." He closed his eyes waiting for storm that was coming when he felt another slap and then, a vase flying by his head.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH!" another vase, "YOU BASTARD, PIECE OF SHIT," her bedside table lamp. "I was pregnant! With your son, our William when you-when you started…Why, Charles? Just tell me why? Weren't you happy?" the anger gone from her voice, replaced with a voice filled with an aching hurt. He dared to look up. She was on the bedroom floor, her knees pulled to her chest, and rocking back and forth.

"I was, but you were so preoccupied with the baby, and-and…I don't know. Nothing can excuse what I did. I felt neglected and alone, and I know that sounds selfish because it is. I'm asking for your forgiveness, not now, but someday. I do want to try and save our marriage," he knew it wasn't enough, and he knew he screwed up majorly. Especially, since Elsie had been there for him through everything, his parents dying, dealing with the demons from when his sister died, all of it, and he repaid her by betraying her.

"Go downstairs and give me some time to think," she almost whispered.

"Of course. I do love you Elsie Mae Carson," he tried to kiss her temple, but she moved away as if his touch burned her. When he left Elsie picked herself off the floor and packed the things she needed most in her suitcase, she called her mother and said she would be coming to spend some time with her, and peeked over the bannister to see if Charles was anywhere to be seen, but he wasn't. He probably went to take a walk to clear his mind like he always did.

Elsie quickly found a sheet of paper and wrote:

My One and Only,

I have loved you since the first time I laid eyes on you in that library. I will always love you, and you will always be the only one my heart will ever belong to. I wish I could say the same for you, but I cannot. I wish you all the happiness and love in the world with Alice. At least she should be able to give you a living child. I would stay, but I don't think I could ever trust you again. I refuse to live a life always having to worry if you are working late or have a business trip out of town. I couldn't help raise a child that is by another woman when I tried so hard to have one of my own. I will forgive you in time because I could never stay mad at you, no matter how much I would like to. I don't even hate you now, but I don't understand why you did it either. I'll have all of my things moved out in the next few weeks, and I will settle things at the publisher's. I love you so deeply, and I thank you for giving me indescribable happiness all these years. I hope you have a wonderful life, My Love.

Love, always and forever,

Your Elsie Mae Carson

And with that she slipped off her engagement and wedding band, placing them on the top of the letter, and walked out Charles Carson's life for the next six years.

Elsie was remembering that exact day when she heard the pitter-patter of little feet and saw a little head bobbing with auburn curls. Her daughter, her little Ella, jumped on bed with her.

"Mummy, what are we doing today?" she wondered. Her bright blue eyes curious, as she stared at her mother.

"We are going to have lunch at Auntie Beryl's, and we," Elsie stopped, hesitant to say the rest, "we are going to meet your daddy."


	2. Chapter 2

Little Red's Restaurant

Chiswick, West London, England

Elsie has dressed Ella in her favorite pink skirt and white top, her auburn curls pulled back with a white satin ribbon, and her little five year old feet in white sandals. Elsie has dressed herself in a nice blue maxi dress and tan sandals. Doing her hair and makeup took more effort with shaking hands. The clock reads 11:58 a.m. in the car when she pulls up to Little Red's Restaurant. _'Just in time,'_ she thinks to herself. She really does wonder if Charles will show, but he has to. If not for her sake, then their daughters, he has to be there for her when… _'no, don't do this to yourself. Not again, Elsie.'_ When she helps Ella out of the car her hands tremble with fear, no, nerves, God, who knows.

"Mummy, are you okay?" Ella is a very perceptive child, ESPECIALLY, when it comes to her mother.

"Of course, Love," Elsie is lying through her teeth, "my sugar is just a little low."

"Do you think my daddy will like me?" her lips trembling, much like Elsie's hands and heart.

"Of course he will," _I hope,_ "he has no reason not to. What's not to love about you? Now, why don't we go in, and you can go play with Daisy until it's time to meet him? Auntie Beryl might even have some shortbreads for you."

"Okay, Mummy. I trust you."

' _Do you? I don't know if I trust me.'_ They are greeted by the smell of fresh bread and cakes, Beryl's specialty. Before Elsie can wonder where Beryl is her friend comes waddling out of the kitchen, her baby bump going before her everywhere.

"Hello! Ella, I have some fresh shortbreads in the kitchen. Why don't you go get some and go upstairs with Daisy and Thomas, mmhm?"

"Alright. Why is Thomas so mean to us, Daisy and me?" she really wanted to know why her cousin was always so crabby or talking about that Jimmy kid in his class.

Elsie reached down and tucked a strand of hair behind her daughter's ear, "He is fourteen, Darling. Just give him a bit of time. He'll grow out of it. Now upstairs you go!"

As she watched Ella run to the kitchen, she really hoped Charles accepted their child as much as she did. She had been gone a month when she realized she hadn't come on in almost four. She counted back the weeks when she realized it must have happened when she and Charles went away for a little spring holiday to escape their grief from losing William.

"Elsie, do you think he'll take the news well?"

"I hope. Unless he is too wrapped up in his other child," Elsie said this with contempt. Rightfully so, but she couldn't bring herself to hate a child for their parent's mistakes.

Beryl looked shocked, not because of the way she said it, but because she was surprised Elsie never found out, "Elsie, Alice aborted the baby. Claimed she lost it. The only reason she kept it as long as she did was to make sure Charlie left you or you him. Then, he found out it wasn't really his. He was heartbroken, we all were because she ruined a perfectly wonderful marriage when the child wasn't even his."

Elsie was shocked by this, stunned, and heartbroken that a hateful, scheming bitch broke her Charlie's heart. _No, Elsie! He is NOT YOUR Charlie. You gave that up almost six years ago._ She couldn't let her thoughts get to her so she turned the conversation towards Beryl, "So are we having a little boy or girl?"

"Girl. Ivy Brielle Mason. Daisy isn't happy and Thomas…is Thomas. Albert and I are trying to bring 'er round to the idea. Elsie, you know he is here. Been here for almost thirty minutes, and even if he doesn't except Ella she will always have a home here or with Isobel and Richard. And that's only if-"

"Beryl, there are no ifs about it. Where is he?"

"At the bar in the back. I'll be watching you two like a hawk, just send me the signal when you want Ella."

"I will, I promise. Now, wish me luck." Elsie started to walk back to the breakfast bar when she recognized his red shirt. He always looked so handsome in red. _Stop it! You're on a mission here!_ She bit her lip to hold back the tears that threatened to spill when he turned on his bar stool and looked her in the eyes.

"Hello, Elsie," _my good Lord, she is beautiful. She looks like she has always, even if she is thirty-three._

 _'Oh, he smells so nice. Come on, get a grip!'_ Elsie looks down and clears her throat before she looks back up, "Charles, it's nice to see you." It's awkward. They both knew it would be.

"Please, sit down," he says as he holds out a chair for her.

She sits, and when he does the same she just kind of blurts, "Beryl, told me about everything. I am so, so sorry, Charles." _Fuck!_

"Oh, I see. Well, it's all in the past now. What about you? Did you go back to being an editor?" he tries to change the subject quickly, but it's so hard when she knows everything about him. Every scar, weakness, and failure.

"Yes. Went back to Whitechapel. I moved back in December of 2010."

"Oh," he's hurt. She has been back for almost as long as they've been apart.

"Look, Charles, I'm just going to cut to the chase," she nods to Beryl, "do you remember that little spring holiday we took at the beginning of May? The one after William?" He nods. How could he forget. It was the fourth time they had lost a child. The others before the second trimester, but William almost twenty-four weeks along, nursery decorated, name picked, and tragically, early labor. He lived all of three hours, but it was the happiest three hours. Then, they went to the south of France, he felt guilty about the ongoing affair and she was drowning in grief, they both needed. After that he was determined to end it after he came home. He had reconnected with Elsie. They talked, dined, shopped, and made love sweetly over the course of a week.

"I don't see what that has to do with anything, Elsie."

"Well, Charles, I got pregnant. I didn't know until after I left, and I am so sorry I kept her from you. I was a coward who didn't want to face the humiliation of crawling back. I realize how selfish that was, but it's not anymore selfish than you having that affair." By this time Beryl had collected Ella and ushered her to her mother, "This is Ms. Ella Margaret Carson, your daughter."

Ella leaped forward and wrapped her arms, or tried to wrap her arms, around her father, "Hello, Daddy."

Charles looked up with the most shocked and hurt expression, "Elsie, we need to talk," he glanced down at Ella and back up at Elsie, "in private."

 **Thanks for the reviews! So, some of you are wondering their ages.**

 **Ella: born on Dec. 28, 2010 (5)**

 **Elsie: Jan. 11 1982 (33)**

 **Charles: Aug. 17 1975 (40)**

 **Beryl: (34)**

 **Albert: (36)**

 **Thomas: (14) adopted by Beryl and Albery**

 **Daisy: (5) biological child of Beryl and Albert**

 **Elsie got married at 21 and Charles 28. Not mine! Now, I hope you like this. It is going to get a lot more angsty. Sorry!**


	3. Chapter 3

June 12, 2016

Little Red's Restaurant

Chiswick, West London, England

Charles could tell instantly this was his daughter. She had Elsie's eyes and hair, but she looked just like his twin, Charlotte. _A miniature version of her. No, stop that. You will not cry, not yet at least._ Charles heart filled with an overwhelming sense of love and wanting to protect this little person. _Why didn't Elsie tell me? I would have taken the blame, I do take the blame. I could never look at her as a coward._

Elsie could see Charles was deep in thought when she spoke up, "Ella, Honey, go with Auntie Beryl while your daddy and I talk. Okay?" Elsie's lip trembled as she gently unwound Ella from Charles.

"Okay, Mummy," Ella answered. Before Beryl could pull her in the hall that led to her office she turned around and quickly said, "Bye, Daddy," with a slight wave.

"Bye, Little One," Charles replied with a small smile. "Now, Elsie, you have some explaining to do," he turned and quietly said with a slight edge to his voice.

"I know. Let's go for a walk, though. I don't want to cause a scene in Beryl's restaurant, and I do NOT want Ella to hear this conversation," she meant that. Whatever Charles said she wouldn't have her little girl overhear it, whether it's good or bad. Charles nodded and followed her out onto the sidewalk. They picked a direction and started walking. It was a nice quiet Sunday not many people milling about. They passed shops and bakeries and boutiques in silence, both too lost in thought.

That is, until Charles asked quietly, "Why didn't you call or write or just show up, Elsie? Why didn't you tell me?"

She dared a glance at him. _He looks so heartbroken. Why did you do it, Elsie?_ "Charles, I was still so angry with you. I know that's a poor excuse, but I could hardly look at you. I'm not angry with you anymore, though."

Charles' head snapped up at that. _She isn't mad. That's a start._

"I know you're probably mad at m-"

"No!" Charles interrupted, "I'm not. I'm hurt but not angry. I understand why you did it. Yes, I would have loved to have been there for the ultrasounds, her crawling, first steps, first word, but I know it's because of me you left."

"Do you really mean that? You're not angry with me?" When Charles nodded Elsie let out a breath she didn't know she had been holding, "I just thought you would be too busy with," _Choose your wording carefully here, Elsie,_ "well, you know."

"You mean Alice," he mumbled. By now they were walking through Chiswick Business Park*. They could see children playing on the bank of the lake, and their parents watching, "Yes, well, it was hard on me, but in the end I learned from it."

At this Elsie became upset, "Oh, really? What exactly did you learn from this, Charles? That you shouldn't cheat on your wife?!"

Charles stopped and looked around them. Luckily, they were out of earshot from anyone. "Excuse me! YOU," he aggressively pointed to Elsie, "were the one who walked away from ME!" He pointed back to himself.

Elsie's eyes darkened with rage, "YES! Because you were FUCKING your secretary! You hurt me deeply, Charles."

"You left and took our daughter with you. Didn't even try to contact me to tell me you were pregnant again."

"Yes, I did. Alice picked up the phone, and I couldn't stand it. She was in our home. The place where we tried to build a family, the place where we suffered heartbreak and grief together, and the place I left my heart when I walked away!" she was absolutely livid. She could recall that day very well.

C&E

October 20, 2010

Paisley, Scotland

She was pregnant. Pregnant after everything she had already gone through, and she couldn't believe it. She was scared. She had known for almost a month, and she just couldn't wrap her head around it. She knew she needed to call Charlie, tell him he was going to be father again. _What if he doesn't want anything to do with the baby, what if he is actually happy with Alice, and he doesn't want anything to do with ME anymore?_ 'You have to call him, Els.' She can hear the voice of her mother in her head.

 _Alright, you can do it, Elsie._ She told herself this as she dialed the number to the house she used to share with Charles. She could faintly hear the ringing through the sound of her blood rushing in her ears.

"Hello?" She paused. _Alice. Oh no!_ "Hello?" Alice asked slightly more annoyed. Elsie slammed the receiver down, effectively ending the call. That was the final straw for her. The last piece of her heart chipped away right then

C&E

"Elsie, wat are you talking about? Alice never lived there. Never. I would never do that. I couldn't do that to you. Believe it or not, I wouldn't do that," Charles said breaking Elsie out of her flashback.

"Why was she there, Charles? I was going to tell you that October, but she answered. I just couldn't. I didn't-"

Charles stopped her, "Did you say October?" Elsie nodded, "Oh, Elsie, you have it all wrong. The day you called was the 20th wasn't it?" she nodded again, "That was the day I confronted her after I found out what she had done." Charles remembered this day as well.

C&E

October 20, 2010

Chiswick, London, England

Charles was utterly devastated. His wife, his true love, had left a little over two months ago, and now, the woman he destroyed his marriage over does this. Yes, he had an affair, but he always used protection. He knew accidents could happen, so when Alice had told him she was pregnant he was shocked, but took responsibility. She came to him a month after Elsie and said she lost the baby. Another miscarriage, maybe the problem was with him. Then, two weeks after that a mutual friend of his and Elsie's, Beryl Mason, came to him with proof Alice had, had an abortion. He was taken aback so much he had to take some time to decide what to do about it. He eventually came to the decision to confront her about it.

He invited her to his house. When he took her coat he went to make some tea. He needed the time to go over what he was going to say for the hundredth time. _'Alice, I know what you've done,'_ his thoughts were haulted when the phone rang. He heard Alice say she would get it. He was about to object when kettle went off. "Who was it?" he asked as he carried a tea tray into the living room.

"I don't know. No one answered when I said hello. I'm so happy you've invited me over, Charles. It's been so hard," she sniffled. _Oh, she is a good little actress._

"Alice," Charles started his rehearsed speech _,_ "I know what you did. I know you had an abortion. I have proof."

"Wh-what?" she asked nervously. Her face grew paled and she started sweating. She had been caught.

"I know you got rid of the baby," it was hard for him to think about, let alone say.

"How?" her voice went from playing the grieving mother to a harsh one with no feeling.

Charles was shocked. He thought she would at least try to convince nut no, "That is for me to worry about. Why did you do it, Alice?"

She barked a bitter laugh, "To get you to marry me of course. You're a partner at one of the most successful law firms in the country. And I couldn't stand the way you mooned over that little wife of yours. All I had to do was watch for when you were your most vulnerable and then seduce you. I would have married a man who could make me comfortable. It worked well, until you didn't propose."

"So you killed my child because all you wanted was money, and I wouldn't marry you?" Charles was flabbergasted. _You evil, heartless bitch._

"Oh, how cute. You actually think the baby was yours," Alice really did laugh at this, "the man who is always prepared and cautious actually thinks the baby was his!" she looked at Charles as she taunted, "When you believed you got me pregnant I knew how easily I could manipulate you. Now, if you'll excuse me, I have a meeting with the baby's, I mean, the dead baby's father," and with that she grabbed her coat and sashayed out his house.

Charles sat stunned until he picked up the teapot up and hauled it at the wall in rage. Tea running down his white wall, and the broken pieces of the cream, porcelain teapot resembling the state of his heart.

C&E

"Oh, Charles, I had no idea," Elsie sounded dejected sound to it.

"Why now, Elsie? Why wait and then bring it up now?" Charles inquired. This was what he has wanted to ask since he found out.

Elsie took a deep breath and revealed, "Charles, I'm sick. Very sick."

C&E

 **I'm so sorry. Thanks to the guest reviews I can't reply to. I'm still getting through the follows. I made a mistake in the last chapter. Elsie IS 34. I promise I'm not trying to break anyone's heart with this story. I'll try to update as often as possible. I don't own anything. *Real place.**


	4. Chapter 4

"What do you mean, sick?" Charles asked cautiously. _Oh, God. Not my Elsie Mae._

"I…," Elsie stuttered, "I have cancer. It started in my breast and spread. It's now in my lungs and stomach. The doctors have taken the lump in my breast, and they think they have caught it in time." When Elsie looked up she saw tears brimming in his eyes. _Maybe I shouldn't have done this. No, Elsie, you HAD to do this._ Her stomach churned as she placed a hand on his shoulder. When Charles looked at her with those glassed over, hazel eyes it takes all she has to not throw herself in his arms, sobbing for him to forgive her for running, for not telling him about their daughter, for not coming back sooner.

When Charles felt her hand and looked into her blue orbs he saw hope and fear. _God, you can't take her. Not yet, not now_ , "Oh, Els. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry. I should have come to you. If I would have looked for you-"

"No, Charles. It's not your fault. It's not anybody's, it just happened."

"Does Ella know?"

Elsie was shocked that he had taken to their daughter so quickly, "Not yet. I'll tell her after they do the next X-ray. They want to see how big the tu-," here is where Elsie faltered, "tumors are, but like I said, they're hopeful."

That's when realization hit Charles. _She is telling me this in case of…no. Don't think like that, Old Boy. Don't think about her possibly dying, don't think about the fact you might not get back together, just, don't._

"Charles, do you really accept Ella? She is yours, but I would understand if you wanted a DNA test? I just need you to be there if it's as bad as all th-" Elsie was gone. She started sobbing when Charles pulled her into his embrace. She soaked his shirt with her tears, but he would do it all over again if it brought her some comfort. He had missed not holding her all these years, and he planned on making for it every chance he got.

Elsie could feel his warmth through his shirt, and she was grateful. The smell of him made her feel more relaxed than she had in a long time. It felt like coming home; she had cried alone so much over the last five-and-a-half years it was nice to be comforted by him.

"That won't be necessary. I could see it as soon as I saw her. She looks so much like Charlotte, and you. Our daughter is beautiful like her mother. You named her Margaret after my mother, too. You don't know how much that means to me; I know I told about it all, but truly, you don't know what that means," Charles voice was thick with emotion.

"I wanted to name her after a strong woman, and I didn't think my mother's name suited that. Especially, after…well, you know what happened," Elsie meant this, sincerely meant this. She knows her mother loves her, but she couldn't name her daughter after a woman who did what she did. Even if it was her own grandmother.

"I DO know, and I'm still sorry for what transpired," Charles decided to change the subject on this note, "When is your X-ray?"

Startled out of her thoughts she replied, "On the 20th. I would be glad if you came."

"I would love to, but"

 _You knew he would probably be busy, Elsie. You knew he would probably say no._

"-I was hoping to see you and Ella before then. Maybe go out to see a movie or bowling or whatever you wanted."

"It's fine Charles. It really i-wait. What?" Elsie already had her 'Beryl Said She Would Go' speech planned when he took her by surprise.

"I said I would love to spend some time with you and our daughter before we find out what the future holds. I also think if the doctors are hopeful, then we should be too. Shall we walk back?" Charles asked with a tilt of his head towards the way they came. Elsie nodded. They walked in silence, passing the children they saw earlier, when Charles took Elsie's hand. She didn't pull back, didn't flinch, didn't even blink, for her it was so natural, felt so natural.

"Thank you, Charles. For not just accepting our daughter, but for letting me dampen your shirt," she giggled.

 _Oh, that sound. I've missed it so these last years,_ "Absolutely no problem, Miss."

"That's Misses to you."

"Do you mean that?" Charles asked anxiously.

"I do. I've never stopped being Mrs. Carson. Ever. Not when you told me about the affair and not when I left," Elsie had never been so honest in her life. She had, has, always loved him. Been in love with him, and nothing could change that.

"I still have your rings," Charles mumbled while pulling a gold chain out of from under his shirt. By this time they had stopped in front of some shop on the way back to Little Red's. Elsie gasped when she saw the engagement ring and wedding band she slipped off so long ago.

"Charles, I-I don't know what to say, I'm truly touched, and I know I've said I forgive you, but I do not think I can put them back on yet," she saw his crestfallen look when she added, "I do forgive you, yes, but you need to earn my trust back. Plus, I don't think Ella is ready. She would go from no father to suddenly having one. She knows all about you, though. I made sure she knew who you were, are, but she is only five. I think we should start with what you suggested, dinners and movies and eventually, sleepovers. You are still a stranger to her, even if she did embrace you. She still wouldn't be comfortable by herself with you, but I hope to change that." They started walking again, both going quiet as they got caught up in their thoughts.

Charles understood, he really did, but he wanted Elsie and Ella now. He wanted them to move in as soon as possible. He wanted his family, husband, wife, and daughter, together; he wanted them to spend as much time as they could with each other. Since Elsie told him about the possible chance of her death he couldn't stop mulling over the idea of having her and Ella move _. If Elsie wanted a new house because of the things that happened at their old one he would buy one, if there wasn't one to fit her idea of perfection, he would build one down to the last detail to suit her, and Ella would get everything she wanted. If she wanted a pool, check. If she wanted a playhouse in the backyard, check. If she wanted a trampoline, check. I would do anything to get us in the same house. Anything to spend the rest of the days and nights I have left with you._ He wanted to tell her this, but he knew she was probably right.

Elsie was thinking about how Ella would react to Charles being in her life. She always told Elsie she would love to meet her daddy, but she also told her mother she wanted to know him. So, Elsie told Ella the stories of her and Charlie. She always skipped the things she knew Charlie should tell their daughter such as his parents, his twin sister, and his side in the affair. Elsie always wanted her to hear his side first so she wouldn't get the impression to hate her father. Ella always loved the stories, and she was enthusiastic the night before she got to meet Charlie, but there was fear in her eyes when she waved bye at the restaurant. Elsie saw it, the fear of rejection and of a stranger she had only ever been told about _. Oh, Ella, you're going to love him. When you see what a teddy bear your father is you're going to laugh at the fear you have now. After all, he might be the only parent you have left._

They had arrived back at Little Red's, and Charles held the door open, "Thank you, Charlie."

 _It's been so long since you called me that,_ "No problem."

Beryl was there and said, "There better not be. I'd hate to shut the restaurant down because I have to kick your ass, Charles Carson."

"No offense, Beryl, but I don't think you could beat dough in your current condition," Elsie chuckled motioning to her friend's stomach.

"Hey! Remember I supply most of your food. Don't make me spit in it. Now, tell me, why have you been gone so long?" Beryl inquired while cocking her eyebrow.

"We haven't been gone that long. Oh, never mind," Charles said as he saw the clock. It was almost 3:30.

"I take it you got a lot accomplished, then," Beryl said hopefully.

"We did," Elsie replied.

"And does he know about…ya know?" Beryl asked.

Charles sighed, knowing beryl wouldn't stop until she got the answers she wanted, "I know Elsie has cancer, Beryl."

It was too bad they were so wrapped up in their conversation to notice Ella, who had snuck into the kitchen for just one more biscuit, standing there staring at her father. She had been studying Charles, or Charlie, as her mother always called him in her stories. The stories were nice in the fact she got to know a father she had never met, but she always had a sneaking suspicion her mother was keeping something from her. When she heard the words Elsie and cancer in the same sentenc she spoke up with a trembling voice that made her parents and aunt turn, "Cancer? But-but that's what Aunt Izzy says killed Matthew's daddy. Mummy, are you going to die?"

C&E

 **HI! Sorry, it took so long to update. Due to bad weather, several power outages, and my computer crashing it has not been a good week. I tagged as requested by you lovely people, and I just want to thank every single one of you! I promise to try and update regularly, but with life and school and how emotionally drained I am after writing this I don't know. Love y'all! Thank you again. Sorry for the angst.**


	5. Chapter 5

It had been a long day. After Ella had heard that Elsie might have cancer she had a full-blown breakdown. Sobbing she had clung to her mother, begging her not to leave. It had taken a good hour before she Elsie could calm her down and explain. Beryl had ushered them upstairs to the offices, where the other kids stayed during business hours, and told Daisy and Thomas to leave. By the time Ella had been subdued she was exhausted to the point of falling asleep. Elsie had to carry her to the car and get her in her car seat, doing her best not to wake the poor girl up.

"So," Charles said leaning against the car, "would you like to get together sometime this week?"

Elsie looked up startled. She hadn't realized he was standing there, and frankly, it freaked her out. It took her a moment to gather her thoughts after being spooked.

 _You silly, old fool. You shouldn't have gotten your hopes up,_ "It's fine if you can't or don't wan-"

"Of course I want to!" _Elsie, calm down. Too eager,_ "Sorry, you gave me a fright when you asked. I hadn't realized you were standing there."

"Oh, sorry, but great. I have your number your number from when you called me earlier. I'll call you tomorrow, and we'll sort something out. You best get home since it is getting dark, and I know she must be exhausted from today," he offered gently.

"Yes, I imagine she is. I know I am," she replied.

"Well, I'll say goodnight."

Elsie leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, "Goodnight, Charlie."

As Elsie got in her car and started driving away Charles couldn't help but think to himself, _Maybe there is hope for us after all._

C&E

When Charles got home it was well after dark. He had stopped by a pub to get some fish and chips for dinner. He all but collapsed after he walked through the door. He did make it to the liquor cabinet in the corner of the living room, and poured a large whiskey which he downed in one. He figured it had been one hell of a day so he deserved it. It was when he made it up the stairs he stopped on the landing. He was about to turn left to head to his sleeping quarters, after Elsie left he hadn't stepped foot in their bedroom again, when he noticed the door straight ahead of him. It was situated between his and Elsie's old bedroom and the upstairs hall bathroom. It had been years since he paid any attention to it, let alone go inside. But something was pulling him toward it tonight.

As he opened the door to the dust filled room his eyes teared up. This was always meant to be the nursery. The room he and Elsie had wanted to fill so badly. He remembered the first time Elsie had told him she was pregnant. They had been so excited, until, a few weeks later Elsie had woken him up crying and covered in blood. When they learned at the hospital they had lost the baby his heart had stopped beating for a moment. Elsie had sat there, dejectedly, tears silently rolling down her face, and in denial. The next day Elsie's OB/GYN had come and told them they could try again in a few months. And so started their road of heartbreak. Pregnant, lost. Pregnant, lost.

When Elsie had taken a home pregnancy test the last time she was worried. Scared that she would just lose it again. Charles had to reassure that everything would be okay. When it came out positive they had immediately made an appointment. They were sure that it wouldn't last though. Just like the other ones, they thought it would end in being another failure. That is, until the doctor informed them she was almost out of the first trimester. Dr. Ryder, a fertility expert they had been referred to, had done an ultrasound that day. He told them Elsie was almost to the second trimester, the furthest they had ever gotten.

Everything seemed to be perfect. They were told it would be a boy. Elsie was thrilled and Charles was proud. They settled on William after Charles's father's middle name. Of course, Elsie had to be extremely careful. She was put on bedrest, baths only, and just enough exercise to keep her healthy, but she insisted she be there for decorating the nursery. After arguing for two weeks Charles caved. They settled on sky blue with silver and white detailing, it was perfect. About a week after everything was finished Elsie began having intense stomach and back pain. They had rushed to the hospital. Twenty hours of labor was what it had taken to get their little boy. The tiniest mewl was the only thing heard when he came out, weighing barely a pound, and his lungs not completely developed. Even though he small his parents thought he was the most beautiful creature they had ever seen.

"Mr. and Mrs. Carson, we need to get the baby to NICU. I'm afraid he is too small to be out of an incubator for long," Dr. Ryder had offered gently.

"What? No! No! I want my baby!" Elsie protested.

Charles wrapped his arm around her to keep her in bed, "Shhh. He'll be alright, love. I promise." _Please, God. Let our baby be safe._ Charles was able to coax her into staying in bed while he went to talk to the doctor.

"Doctor, he'll be alright won't he?"

"We'll do our best. I promise, but it doesn't look good. He's small, very small. His lungs don't appear to be developed, either. The nurse will come and get you after a room is set up for him."

"Thank you," Charles knew he should tell his wife, but he couldn't face to see her heartbroken. Not again.

Charles could feel that fear had a good grip on him, but it was only ten minutes later he thought he might actually die from it. Elsie's vitals and blood pressure began a rapid decline and nurses and doctors had rushed in, Charles being pushed into the hallway. He heard someone mention an internal hemorrhage. Not only his son's, but now his wife's life as well, was on the line. As though it wasn't enough that there was a nagging voice in his head that kept reminding him that he was having an affair.

He couldn't just sit while his wife might be dying, so, he asked a nurse to take him to see his son. When he entered the stark white hospital room he immediately went to the incubator sitting in the middle of the room, his eyes drawn to the little boy barely as big as his palm. He found a chair to pull up and sat talking to his child through the hole in the side of the plastic and glass cage that was keeping him alive.

"Hey, little one. Look, I need you to be okay for me and your mum. You see you were our little miracle baby, and I need you to be it again," he reached in to stroke the light hair of the newborn, "Oh, my boy, my beautiful baby boy, I've done something awful. Truly awful, and when your beautiful mum finds out she will be heartbroken."

"Mr. Carson," Dr. Ryder called, hating to disturb the precious moment between father and son.

"Yes, what is it? My wife, is she okay?"

"She's fine. She's going to be asleep for a bit though."

Charles took a chance and asked, "Can she be brought in here? I know she would want to be with the baby."

"Under normal circumstances, it wouldn't be allowed, but for this, I'll have her moved right away."

"Thank you, Doctor," Charles decided that while they moved her he would sneak out for some air. It was on his way out he passed the chapel and decided he would go there instead. He was the only person there, and he sat on the back pew.

He had never been a particularly religious person, but he did believe in God, even if he didn't go to church every Sunday. He felt awkward as he bowed his head and folded his hands, but when he began a heartfelt plea for his son he lost conscience thought of the world and focused on his prayer.

"God, I know I've never been the faithful believer, but you're the only one I can think of to help my son. Elsie and I have tried so hard to have this. Please don't take it away. Please don't take my William away, if thi-," he choked as the sobs came, "if this is punishment for me than please do something to only me, not my wife. This would be the end of her. But if you do take him, let it be peaceful. Let us understand why. Give us peace of mind that he is with you and let this bring us closer together. I beg of you, God. Don't let this break us. Please. Amen."

When he finished he raised his head, wiped his tears, and looked at the clock. It had been almost thirty minutes since he came in. He rushed back to his son's room to see his wife sitting up in bed looking at their baby.

"Charlie," her voice a whisper, "move him over here."

Charles did so without hesitation. Elsie reached her left hand in the opening to softly touched her child's. William immediately wrapped, or tried to wrap, his tiny fingers around one of hers. It happened to be her ring finger, and the symbolism wasn't lost on either of them. Charles timidly sat down on her right side and wound an arm around her shoulders.

"He's a beautiful baby," Elsie croaked, her voice thick and scratchy with emotion and unshed tears.

"He's our beautiful baby," Charles whispered back. That was it. The heart monitor leveled out, and William Andrew Carson's last heartbeat faded, his little hand still clutching his mother's.

Charles jerked awake. The memory coming as a nightmare as he realized he was sitting in the floor, propped up on by the crib, in his dead son's nursery. He went to wipe his face when he felt the tears that had come out. As he struggled to stand the moonlight that shone through the window allowed him to see the dust covered objects on the dust covered shelves. Teddy bears, velveteen rabbits, books, and photos. But there was one that caught his eye, and as he walked over to pick it up he remembered taking it. It was of Elsie taking a bubble bath. Her head was leant back against the wall of the tub, her ankles crossed, feet hanging over the edge, bubbles covered her breasts and her hips, but not the small bump that their unborn child rested against. Her hands softly caressed it as she looked at it with the most content smile. _Oh, Elsie, what have I done to get a second chance from you._

C&E

 **HEY! I am so sorry it took so long but life has been a bitch the last few weeks. I hope you like this chapter. For those wondering, yes they are still married but estranged. I'm still looking for a beta. And I have officially joined tumblr. My blogs name is .com. Please follow. I won't do it with this chapter but from now on I shall be posting when I update on there and maybe some pictures of the places I describe. PLEASE REVIEW!**


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